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24 November 2009 @ 05:35 pm
so i have been hiding at home from the world for almost 3 years now and i decide its time to start living again and trying to find that ms right instead of ms tonight..i have been clean and sober for almost 4 years now and i have lost alot of friends over the years and i have had a lot of time to think about how this world works and i realized this world is nothing but a big let down but you have to make the best of the things that we have in order to be happy and we should live everyday like if it was the last one we see..
14 November 2009 @ 12:02 pm
been doing alot of soul searching and finally realized what it is im missing...
16 October 2009 @ 06:24 pm
i havent posted in long time and i dont know if any of my friends still read it? but today has been a day of reflection for me,i have been listen to old cds and reading old poems and posts.i guess it has something to do with the fact next sunday i turn 30yrs old..an in my time on earth i have made a lot of mistakes and bad chioces..and i also find my self at an all time low in my life..im alone most of the time and im always broke. i can't remember the last time i did something just for me..other then buy a dvd or cd..its sad to say but most of my friends are the movies and music i listen to.,my friends in real life have droped out of my life except for a few and those friends i cant count on one hand..when i was partying and running the streets and clubing i had a ton of friends and when i stoped it all disapered and i found my self alone and scaired.,my bigest fear is when i die that my life didnt impact anyone other then my family..im not scaried to die,someday i hope it happens but then i think about my mom and then i remember the promise i made my dad.,that if anything would happen to him id take care of her the best i could and i have been these last two years.on monday the 19th it will be two years to the day.
23 August 2009 @ 02:45 pm
im on twitter my name is therealbfinoh@twitter

so does anyone still read this or is it doomed to be dead like my myspace pages?
24 July 2009 @ 02:10 pm
my thoughts run rampt like primal rage
my actions,myselfworth, are locked away like a rat in a cage
my voice goes unheard from now to years to pass bye
the pain i feel cant be cured,for my pain is from life learned

so,does anyone still post on here?
25 May 2009 @ 04:15 pm
yes ,im still alive if you people were wondering about me....nothing new to report unless you count all the bad shit that keeps happing to me...anyways ...
28 March 2009 @ 06:36 pm
24 March 2009 @ 12:04 am
the old me is dead and gone

Current mood: ashamed

i been on this earth for alomost 30years ,lost alot of friends and family and jobs...there nothing in life that comes free..i been trying to be something im not for to long that i forgot who i was for so long..i havent left ohio in close to ten years ...my life has been on hold for so long that i forgot how to live it..so after this last trip to the hospital i realized i wasted half my life on the wrong things and trying to please other people and putting others first...in the time since i grad from h.s. i lost a child,had my heart broken so many times then my dad dies and then my grandfather the following year..i realy never recoverd from all this hurt.until now its time i try and get my life back on track.
22 March 2009 @ 05:12 pm
i had some real bad luck with this new med combo the put me on for my psorius and testsy cancer ,which lead to me haveing chf and a mild heart attack i was in the cleveland clinic for two mounths had to rehab my legs so i could walk with out falling down on my face but im back home with my mom in youngstown and am doing good able to walk on my own sometimes i still need the cane but other then that im doing as good as i can be..your friend brian fox
24 January 2009 @ 02:51 pm
im still alive in case you people thought i was dead...